9. When the Results Don't Mean the End

After everything leading up to this point — the surgery, the diagnosis, the waiting — I think part of me was hoping this next step would bring a clear outcome.

A decision. A direction. An end to the unknown.

Instead, it’s brought something a little different.

The Latest Results

When I went in to review my post-op blood results, I didn’t quite know what to expect. They were mainly looking at TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone - produced by the pituitary gland in your brain, its primary job is to tell your thyroid gland how much of its own hormone to make. These thyroid hormones control your metabolism, energy levels and body temperature.) They were also looking at Thyroglobulin (thyroid cancer marker).

The thyroglobulin was higher than expected, but this would be used as a baseline for monitoring going forward. But what stood out straight away was my TSH level.

It was more than double what my normal baseline has been.

And while that might just sound like a number — I’ve felt the impact of that in a very real way.

Expectations vs Reality

When we first decided to go ahead with surgery, one of my first questions was:

“How long will I be off training?”

The answer was: Two weeks.

And at the time, that felt manageable.

A short pause. A small step back before building again.

What I didn’t fully consider was something else entirely.

Not just the surgery itself — but how my body might respond afterwards.

I knew there was a possibility that the remaining part of my thyroid might not function the same way once the cancer was removed.

But I didn’t realise just how much impact that could have.

On my energy. On my recovery. On my ability to train.

When the Numbers Match How You Feel

Looking back, it explains a lot.

The fatigue I’ve been experiencing hasn’t just been “post-surgery tiredness.”

It’s been something deeper.

The kind of exhaustion that:

• doesn’t lift with rest

• makes even simple things feel harder

• slows everything down.

For several weeks, I had been trying to understand it.

Trying to support it through nutrition.

Through routine.

Through doing everything I normally would.

But nothing shifted it.

And now, seeing my TSH levels — it makes sense.

This wasn’t something I could push through.

It was my body adjusting in a way I hadn’t fully anticipated.

Why does my body suddenly feel incapable of doing what it used to?

The Decision: Not Doing More (For Now)

Going into this appointment, I knew there were a few possible next steps.

Further surgery to remove the remaining thyroid.

Radiation treatment.

Or monitoring.

And in the end, the decision was made to wait.

To not move forward with full removal.

To not begin radiation.

Instead — to monitor.

To allow my body to settle.

To see how things respond over time.

Sitting With That Decision

There’s relief in that.

Relief in not needing to go straight back into surgery.

Relief in not taking the next step immediately.

But there’s also uncertainty.

Because “waiting” isn’t always the easiest option.

It requires trust.

Trust, that regular monitoring will pick up any recurrence.

Patience.

And a willingness to sit in the unknown — again.

Life Now Includes Medication

One of the changes now is daily medication.

Something that supports what my body is no longer doing in the same way.

Something that is now part of my routine. 

Something that I need to figure out to fit into my routine, around early starts, training and eating. 

And while it’s “just a tablet” — it represents something bigger.

A shift into ongoing management.

A reminder that things aren’t quite the same as they were before.

Adjusting (Again)

This phase feels different.

Less intense than surgery.

Less unknown than diagnosis.

But in some ways, more ongoing.

It’s about learning:

• how my body responds

• what my new baseline feels like

• how to manage energy, not just push through it.

And for me, that includes redefining what training looks like right now.

Letting go of timelines.

Letting go of expectations.

And being willing to rebuild — differently.

The Fatigue, Revisited

The fatigue hasn’t disappeared.

But now, there’s more understanding around it.

And that changes how I respond.

Less frustration.

More awareness.

More willingness to work with my body, instead of against it.

Even if that’s not how I’m used to doing things.

Not the End — Just a Different Phase

I think I had imagined this point as some kind of finish line.

But it’s not.

It’s just a transition into something else.

A quieter phase.

A longer phase.

One that requires consistency more than intensity.

Where I Am Now

Right now, I’m adjusting.

To medication.

To new energy levels.

Or no energy levels.

To a plan that involves waiting, monitoring, and trusting the process.

And continuing to take it one step at a time.

This journey hasn’t been about quick answers.

It’s been about learning — again and again — that not everything moves on the timeline we expect.

And that sometimes, the next step isn’t doing more.

It’s allowing space for things to unfold.