The Reset I Didn't Plan

This isn’t the post I thought I’d be writing.

This space was meant to document my journey toward Ironman and my other fitness pursuits — the training, the structure, the discipline of working toward something big alongside a full life. And for a while, that’s exactly what it was.

I had momentum. I had a plan. I knew where I was heading.

But over the past few months, things shifted.

What started as a health concern became something that needed my full attention. While preparing for Ironman NZ I was having a thyroid lump investigated, requiring various scans and biopsies. I didn’t want to share what was happening at the time, not because I was avoiding it — but because I wanted to understand what I was dealing with first. I needed a bit of space to process it privately, without the noise, the questions, or the well-meaning worry that can come before you even have answers yourself.

So I kept things close for a while.

With the people nearest to me, and quietly in the background of everything else.

And in that space, something else started to shift too.

Fear.

Swimming has always been the most mentally challenging part of this journey for me. It’s where doubt shows up fastest. And as my focus moved toward my health, I felt that confidence I’d been building begin to slip. Not dramatically — but enough to know that I was not in the right place, physically or mentally, to take on something as demanding as Ironman.

So, I made the decision to withdraw. 

It wasn’t impulsive. And it wasn’t easy.

But it was the right call.

Because as much as I value commitment, I also value knowing when to pause. When to listen. When to adjust instead of pushing through something that doesn’t feel right. Feeling like amongst all the unknown and the fear, I could take control.

This wasn’t the end of the journey — it’s a reset.

Right now, my focus is on my health. On getting clear answers. On giving myself the space to respond properly, rather than forcing my way forward.

But I’m not stepping away completely. I’m still moving, I’m still showing up - just differently. There is still going to be an Ironman race, Hyrox races, and marathons - goals that I will still be chasing, fitting into my life how it is right now.

And that’s what this space will become.

Not just a record of training towards events — but an honest reflection of what it looks like to navigate ambition, health, fear, and change in real time.

There will be progress here. But there will also be pauses. And adjustments. And learning.

If you’re here reading this, thank you. Whether you’re following along quietly or navigating something of your own — I hope this space becomes something useful, or at the very least, something real.

This is the reset.

Before I continue sharing more, I’d love to understand what would be most helpful for you to follow.

I’ve put together a short survey — if you have a minute, I’d really appreciate your input as I shape what comes next.